


Not Quite a Goodbye Selfie

by Melkur_Mistress



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Everyone get's shrunk, F/M, Humor, Light-Hearted, Little bit of angst, Nardole worries, TCE, mostly a fun story, they really should listen to Missy, twissy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 12:33:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15796611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melkur_Mistress/pseuds/Melkur_Mistress
Summary: Set just before The Empress of Mars. Nardole is checking up on Missy, and is highly suspicious about her toaster. He comes back later, asking for her help and she leaves the vault to go to the Doctor's TARDIS and help get the Doctor and Bill off Mars. Once they're all back inside, the TARDIS runs off with them all, following a distress call. The Doctor goes straight out, no preparation at all, and they all get held at gun point and sentenced to death. There's no way out except via a very small hole, so Missy shrinks them all, which no one is very impressed with DESPITE her actually saving their lives. Then they have to get back out and to the TARDIS, with two unconscious pets, and try to build a miniature lab and restore them all to normal size. Oh - and the Doctor STILL wants to investigate the distress call, even though he's only seven inches tall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpiderGoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiderGoon/gifts).



> This story is in response to a prompt from Spidergoon. By chapter two, everyone gets shrunk! I usually post a story once it's complete, or unpublished fics i've never put online. I have no other unposted fics now as i've put them all on here. I will post updates to this one once I am at least two chapters ahead.

Missy cast Nardole a bored glance from her position on her piano stool. He had come in like clockwork, in the middle of the Doctor’s busiest day - she knew he had no real reason to inventorise her kitchen cupboards, it was merely an excuse to check on her. It was ridiculous how obvious he was, she really didn’t know why he didn’t just save himself all that time, and say ‘Hello Missy, I’m coming in to make sure you’re not assembling a bomb in here.” Instead he was looking through her cupboards, and noisily at that.

“Didn’t you have a toaster?” he called out.

“What was that?” she said, amused that it had taken both Nardole and the Doctor two weeks to notice her toaster was missing.

“Toaster,” Nardole said, as he came out of the kitchen and gave her an accusing look intended to appear stern but the undercurrent of fear just made her giggle.

“Yes I did,” she said and turned her attention to the piano keys as she began to play.

“Yeah...so, where is it?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. I must have lost it,” she said dismissively, before glancing at him over her shoulder. “I’m sure it will turn up.”

“I’m telling the Doctor about this!” he said.

“You run along and tell the Doctor then, i’m sure he will be equally as alarmed as he was when you told him I was planning to take over the planet using the heating element from my kettle,” she said, smirking.

“Well, just because I was wrong about that doesn’t mean you’re not up to something this time! What did you do with it?!”

“Maybe I used it to make meticulously handcrafted tools to open up and upgrade a device that I can use to shrink people,” she said, winking at him.

“That’s not funny! What did you really do with it?” he said.

Missy laughed, Nardole was so easy to toy with sometimes. She turned her attention back to her piano and continued playing.

She was surprised then, when much later, Nardole came to her door at an unexpected hour. She knew right away that the Doctor had messed up, and quickly stashed her tools under her bed.

_ "Hello? Hello, Miss? I was wondering if I could ask for your help? Er, I need to get to Mars. Well, I need to get back to Mars, in fact. Er, and it's a little bit urgent, only the Tardis is acting up and I was wondering if you could tell me how to fix it," he said. _

_ "Of course I can," Missy said. _

_ "Oh. Right. Well, thank you," he said. _

_ "But it's probably easier if I just show you." _

He had been the very definition of worried when he opened the door and found her standing right there, her coat already on and smiling at him. He froze, this was nerve wracking - dealing with her inside the vault - a contained, reasonably predictable environment was one thing, but taking her out of there was something else entirely. 

“Well, you’ll have to lead the way, come on, I thought this was urgent?” she said, aware of how nervous he was feeling around her, and finding it quite amusing.

“Err...yeah, it’s um...in his office...out there,” he said, pointing in the direction of the door.

He backed up as she stepped across the threshold and out of the vault, pushing the door closed behind her. 

“This way,” he said, and began walking, glancing at her awkwardly. 

She found it quite funny, the way he didn’t seem to know how to escort her - he walked in front, then stopped, obviously worried about not having his eye on her, and gestured for her to go ahead, then he realised she didn’t know where she was going, so he settled to walk alongside her instead. It was all quite amusing really until they got to the door and he hesitated, then opened it, and stepped outside. 

She felt the rush of air as she walked with him, turning a corner and coming to an abrupt stop. She looked up at the sky, taking a slow deep breath, before closing her eyes. For a moment she felt absolutely high, the outside sounds and sensations hitting all her senses at once. It took her a moment to gather herself and remember what she was doing - the air itself felt intoxicating. 

When she opened her eyes, she started to laugh at the way Nardole was looking at her, plain terrified that she had stopped still - she could read the panic rolling from him. He thought she was going to run, and there would be nothing he could do about it given the number of humans she could see close by.

“Sorry, distracted. Did I worry you?” she said nonchalantly.

“No, yes...let’s just keep going...if, you know, you have the urge to kill anyone...just...I dunno, um...take a deep breath, count to ten?” he stammered.

Missy broke into laughter and shook her head, she had never found any of the Doctor’s pets this entertaining before.

She kept going as he quickly ushered her inside another building and up to the Doctor’s office. She took a moment to glance around - paying attention to the books on his shelves, and moving to his desk, picking up random items and examining them.

“Err...Missy, could you...over here?” he said, standing next to the TARDIS looking incredibly anxious.

“Yes, sure,” she said, with a smile that he found more unsettling than reassuring. “What happened then?”

“Well..” he said, opening the door and gesturing for her to enter. “The TARDIS just kind of, took herself back here and won’t move. So, could you take me back, they;re stuck on Mars otherwise.”

Missy circled the console, her eyes roaming over the controls and monitors, as Nardole hovered behind her. He was annoying, but she pretended he wasn't there until she was examining some cabling under the console and stood up, almost banging her head against his.

“Have you heard of personal space?!” she said.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Look, i'm trying to diagnose the issue, i’m not going to steal the TARDIS - but let’s face it, you wouldn't know what I was doing even I was, so just give me some space and let me get on with it. Could you make a pot of tea perhaps?” she said.

“Tea? Leave you alone in here and make tea...in another room?”

“Yes,” she said, glancing at him in annoyance. “Tea, so I can work without you buzzing around me.”

He was quite frankly freaking out the entire time he made tea, but when he returned to the console room, carrying a tray laden with tea and biscuits, she hadn’t laid a trap for him or appeared to have done anything other than actually help. 

He set the tray down, balancing it on a level part of the console and froze when he realised she was staring at his with total disdain.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she said in obvious disgust.

“Um...tea? Remember?” he said.

“Yes, i’m capable of remembering a conversation from six minutes ago, but why are you precariously balancing a pot full of tea on the console? I didn’t just spend the past six minutes fixing this for you to spill tea all over the place and damage components. This may only be a type 40, but treat her with more respect or she will ditch you too next time,” she said.

Nardole felt instantly chastised, “good point...i’ll move it over here...I think there’s...ah yes, I know where there’s a table. Shall I get it?”

“That would be useful, then we can have a nice civilised tea break,” she said.

“We do..have a pressing issue though. We need to get to Mars,” Nardole said.

“Yes, and this is a TARDIS. We can have our tea and then I can take you right back there,” she said.

“I suppose that makes sense,” he said.

Moments later, they were seated at a small bistro table, Missy dropping several lumps of sugar into her tea while Nardole chatted nervously.

“Do you..well, I guess you do, but do you have a TARDIS? I mean, you’ve been in the vault all this time, so do you have one just hanging around unattended somewhere?” he asked.

“Yes, I do, and no it's not unattended” she said, sipping her tea and reaching for a biscuit.

“Oh, is it any different to this one? Or do they come out of the box all the same? Same spec and all that?”

“TARDIS’s don’t arrive shipped in boxes, and yes, mine has some differences. It's a later model for starters, higher spec, and I work on mine  - upgrade, maintain, ensure flawless operation. The Doctor just waits till he has a problem and then has major repair work to do. It’s no way to treat a TARDIS and i’m surprised he hasn’t ended up stranded long before this.”

“So yours isn't unattended? Have you got...lodgers in? You know, renting it out while you're in the vault?”

Missy raised an eyebrow and laughed, “no, I'm not leasing out my TARDIS. No one goes in there except me. It's protected and in safe hands.”

“Whose hands?” Nardole asked suddenly fascinated at the concept of Missy's TARDIS.

“You  _ are _ digging for juicy info aren't you? Sorry, not telling. Right,” she said, standing up and brushing crumbs off of her skirt. “Let’s go rescue the Doctor.”

She checked readings and performed some slightly unnecessary tests while Nardole tidied the tea things away. In truth she was keeping herself busy, pushing away the conflict she was beginning to feel. 

She stood with her hands on the console, feeling gentle, welcoming vibrations of the TARDIS. She could take off right then and there - just up and leave and Nardole wouldn't be able to thing about it. The thought of it didn't make her hungry for chaos and destruction like it used to though. The more she thought about it  the more anxious she began to feel. She really didn't want to steal the Doctors TARDIS and rampage trough the universe. She just wanted to go pick him up, then get back to the vault and practice a composition she had written. Her intentions, she realised, were entirely benign.

She waited until Nardole returned before pulling the lever, and then watched the doors with a mixture of apprehension and excitement. The Doctor probably wasn't going to be pleased about this, but he would, when the shock of seeing her flying his TARDIS wore off, realise that she was just helping. She was certain of that. 

The doors opened and she hated how she felt anxious at all, so she took a deep breath and hid it expertly well as Nardole stepped outside.

When he came back, the Doctor and Bill were with him, and she watched him intently from the other side of the console. 

_ "Er, well, er..." Nardole really didn't know what to say. _

The look the Doctor cast Nardole told her that this was the last thing he expected to happen.

_ "Are you all right?" Missy said. _

_ "This can't happen. This is not what we agreed to. I'm going to have to put you back in the Vault. You know that," the Doctor said. _

_ "Sure. That's fine," she said. _

And she really did mean it. She wasn't planning anything other than a quiet evening working on her composition. 

Suddenly the sound of dematerialisation filled the room and the Doctor cast an accusing glare at her.

She raised her hands in defence, “It’s nothing i've done. I hadn’t even set the return coordinates.”

The Doctor moved to the console and stared in confusion, then glanced up at Missy, “you didn’t set these coordinates?”

“No,” she said, edging closer. “Do you want me to take a look?”

He paused, observing her cautiously, before stepping to the side slightly and nodding, “nothing looks amiss.”

She walked over and stood beside him, the concern at her even being on his TARDIS in the first place, just rolling off of him. She shook it off, and looked at the readings, before stepping back and glancing at him.

“Well, I would say your TARDIS has done this all by herself,” Missy said. “She did run off and refuse to go back to you I might add. Took a few very basic moments of TLC to convince her to go back and get you. I mean Doctor, do you ever do maintenance? Do you know how little mercury there was? You don’t check things like that and you’ll end up with major issues, least of all a stroppy TARDIS feeling unloved.”

“Maybe you could help me with that - if you wanted to,” he said, glancing up and noticing the way Bill and Nardole appeared concerned. 

“Maybe - I'll think about it. Now where are we? I _did_ have plans for my evening,” she said.

“It looks like...couple of decades out of time, and we appear to be in a different city, but we're on earth.” he said.

“Oh _great,_ bet you're thrilled. Now you know this had noting to do with me. If I was going to kidnap you all, I wouldn’t be heading back to earth,” she said.

“Why did the TARDIS bring us here?” Bill asked.

“Distress call - definitely not my style,” Missy said. “Can we just ignore it and go home?”

“No, the TARDIS responded to it - so we can't just ignore it,” the Doctor said.

“Err, Doctor?” Nardole said before dropping his voice to a whisper. “What about Missy?”

Missy acted offended and the Doctor almost laughed at how over the top she responded, “I _am_ in the room you know! I _can_ hear!”

“We will all go together, come on, let’s find out what the problem is,” the Doctor said.

Missy shook her head and gave him a bemused look, “just rush out, no preparation, no groundwork, not even give your pets a minute to grab a snack - just run headlong into whatever danger there is out there?”

“Yes,” the Doctor said, opening the doors.

“This explains, _ so  _ much,” she said.

They all left the TARDIS and Missy gave a dramatic sigh and leaned back against the closed TARDIS door behind her, surveying the sight that greeted them. 

A row of guards, all with their weapons pointed directly at them.

“Oh why am I not surprised, you didn't even stop to look outside first,” Missy said as she casually turned her head to Bill, “ _groundwork_. Remember that one. Or at least - look outside first??”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am living and breathing fanfic at the moment!! But it's a major anxiety reliever for me. Updates won't be daily, but as i'm a couple chapters ahead I can put this one up. I have a stressful week next week, so will probably write a lot.

Missy remained lounging against the TARDIS doors, casually observing. She appeared nonchalant and disinterested but in reality she was visually scanning the room, identifying possible escape routes and the level of firepower, possibility of backup weapons and skill of the guards. She glanced at Bill, who looked worried but was focusing her attention on the Doctor, waiting for him to talk their way out of it. Nardole looked even more worried and held his hands up in surrender even though no one had actually asked him to do that. Missy tried to suppress a giggle, this all could have been avoided if the Doctor had just looked before going outside.

Suddenly Missy felt the barrel of a gun pressing into the side of her head, turning her head very slowly, she cast a cold glare at the person who dared to touch her.

“Something funny?” the guard said.

Missy felt like laughing even more because she was sure the guard thought he sounded ever so threatening. She didn’t bother giving him a response and turned her head back to roll her eyes at the Doctor.

The Doctor cast her a warning glance willing her not to antagonise the situation.

Another guard stepped forward and thrust a gun toward Nardole, “anyone else find this funny?”

Nardole shook his head emphatically, “no, no, no, no, not funny at all.”

The guards stepped back, and Missy raised her hands to her head in annoyance, removing and reinserting hair pins, and checking that the guard hadn't messed up her hair.

Bill watched her in amazement, she didn't understand how Missy could possibly not be in the least bit bothered by having a gun pressed against her head.

It was predictable, ushered into an office, asked questions they didn't have answers to, the pets unarmed, scared, the Doctor winging it.

When seven foot tall, robot guards came in to grab them all and march them to an execution chamber, Missy really started to get fed up.

When the door was closed, she spun round to face the Doctor, “it’s never straightforward with you is it? I rescued you, and i’m going to end up regenerating for it, and your pets will just die whcich will leave you all upset, don't try blaming me for this, all I did was help!”

“Die?” Bill said, alarmed. “We’re going to die?”

“Can’t you, open the door with your sonic screwdriver?” Nardole asked hopefully.

“No, they took it off me, we’re trapped in here,” the Doctor said.

“Oh look, poisonous gas - it's so much fun answering distress calls,” Missy said as she looked at the tendrils of gas suddenly filling the chamber.

“Doctor, what are we gonna do?”” Bill said, her voice rising in panic.

The Doctor ripped off an access panel and began frantically attempting to short circuit the door mechanism, as Nardole and Bill broke into panic.

Missy shook her head and sighed, they really did only have seconds left to live.

“Trapped in a room, filling with lethal gas, no way out except for that tiny vent down there on the ground, now what _shall_ we do to escape?” Missy asked.

Pulling out her hair pin, she grabbed Bill and Nardole and pushed them both toward the Doctor before standing in front of them, holding out her hair pin as if it were a camera.

“Goodbye selfie?” she asked.

“What?!” Bill said.

“That’s a hair pin, why are you pointing a hair pin at us?!” Nardole asked, his eyes wide with panic.

The Doctor turned his head and froze, “Missy, NO!”

She activated her Tissue Compression Eliminator and in a split second found herself sitting on the floor. Blinking, she cleared her head and looked across the unconscious bodies of Bill and Nardole to see the Doctor glaring at her.

“You _shrunk us_?” he said, astounded.

“Really no time to address this right now - the vent, you grab the egg, i’ll grab the girl, let’s go,” she said, as she grabbed hold of Bill and began dragging her toward the vent.

“If they’re dead..” he began.

“If they’re dead _you’ll what?_ Confiscate my hair pins? Honestly Doctor, I didn't ask to be dragged into any of this. Your _pet,_ asked me to help. I _helped_ , then _your_ TARDIS went running off, then _you_ went running out the door without even looking outside first! Despite all that you're  _still_ ready toblame me!”

The Doctor sighed and got hold of Nardole, his hands under his shoulders as he dragged him toward the hole.

“You _did_ shrink us all, with a TCE you are not supposed to have,” he said.

“They’re unconscious not _dead,_ and we all got out - can I hear a ‘thank you Missy?’ No?” she said, shaking her head and keeping going.

She stopped half way along the vent, slumping back against the wall, “she’s heavier than she looks - do you mind if I slap her? Might wake her up?”

“No, you can’t slap her!” the Doctor said, his voice rising in anger.

“Fine, we’ll just keep dragging them along and slowing our escape down then. Don't glare at me like that, I didn't actually slap her, I did ask first. See? I’m being nice.”

“Nice? You have a Tissue Compression Eliminator! How long have you had that? It’s a lethal weapon, I am furious with you!”

“A lethal weapon which I used to _help_ us! We’d be regenerated and your pets dead by now if I hadn't done that, but do I even get a thank you? No, it’s all; don't smuggle lethal weapons, and don't slap the pets. Is ‘thank you Missy'  _so_ hard to say?”

He propped Nardole up against the wall of the vent shaft and stood in front of her, his hands on his hips. She would of laughed at how cross he looked if only he hadn’t really started to annoy her.

“Hand it over,” he said firmly.

“Oh well,” she said casually. “Trouble is, I just can't remember which hair pin it is, they all look the same - you can step a little closer and run your fingers through my hair if you like - try and find it, but I should warn you, I do have at least forty hair pins in right now. My hair doesn’t loo this great through pure luck you know, it takes work.”

“Missy,” he sighed. “We are having a serious conversation about this.”

“Fine, fine, but don't really think this is the time dear - so come on, off we go, lets get out of here and get to your TARDIS. I’m guessing you don't have an emergency lab set up in case of accidental shrinking accidents?”

“No Missy, only someone who has _accidentally shrunk themselves in the past_ would have something like that.” he said.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “Oh Doctor, that was uncalled for.”

“Just give it to me Missy!” he said.

“No,” she replied dismissively as she bent down to grab Bill’s arms.

They continued dragging Bill and Nardole  along, the Doctor casting her the occasional angry and totally ungrateful glare, until they felt the rush of fresh air.

“Finally,” Missy said, settling Bill up against the wall as she sat down, smoothing her skirt out and inspecting it for creases.

“Why are you sitting down?” the Doctor asked.

“Because, they will wake up soon, and it will be so much easier to escape if were not dragging them along like dead weight, she paused, seeing the glare he gave her. “ _Unconscious_ weight. Not dead. Definitely not dead. Honestly, I don't know why you're not thanking me. I got us out of there and didn't kill anyone, and _still_ you’re not happy.”

The Doctor settled Nardole, his back against the wall, and moved to sit next to Missy. He twisted to face her, and sighed in relief that they were now past the immediate danger and could stop and take stock of the situation.

“Thank you,” he said.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, and _you’re welcome_ ,” Missy said, as she turned slightly to meet his eyes.

“I worry about you,” the Doctor said.

Missy shook her head dismissively.

“How long have you had that TCE?”

“I always have,” she said, breaking eye contact as she stared at the metal grate that would soon give them access to the outside. “Here’s where you say how disappointed you are in me, how dishonest I am, how very un-Doctorlike I always am, how…”

“Always?” he asked. “You made it in the vault, right at the beginning, or you had it even when you were being executed?”

“Semantics,” she said, her gaze moving to the floor evasively. 

“Hardly," he said. “Why didn't you use it? You could have escaped a 100 times over from that planet, but with that - with a Tissue Compression Eliminator, you could have killed them in seconds. Why didn’t you? Why did you just stay there, cooperating with your own execution?”

“We have to do this _now_?” she said, a hint of emotion beginning to colour her words.

“Can’t move until these two wake up, so yes, now. Why?”

“Because I knew you’d come, and I waited for you,” she said.

“But you could have escaped,” he said. 

“Of _course_ I could, and murdered them all where they stood, but I didn't want to,” she said, pausing. When she continued she spoke much more quietly and the Doctor only just made out her words.

“I didn’t want to kill anyone else, ever again. So I stayed, and I waited, because I knew they would call you. I know you were my only hope - not to stop me getting executed, I could have got out of that by myself - I mean.....I waited for you because I needed you to help me save myself.”

She took a shaky breath, trying to control her tears, “I really _do_ want your help.”

He inched closer to her and took her hand in his and she turned to face him. He instantly raised his other hand to brush away her tears.

She closed her eyes in response, to he feel of his fingertips brushing against her face sending floods of emotion through her.

“Missy, I think you’d already started to save yourself, i’m just guiding you - _when_ you let me that is, but contraband aside, you’re actually doing brilliantly.”

Missy opened her eyes and turned away, unsure of how to respond to his compliment. The intensity of the conversation became too much and she felt an instant relief as she noticed Bill waking up.

“Oh look, she’s awake - are you gonna tell her she’s seven inches tall, or can I? It’ll be amusing and I think we agreed I deserve a treat,” she said, glad to change the subject. The honesty was getting far to full on.

“Missy..” he began, not wanting to abruptly stop their conversation.

“Later honey, the kids are waking up,” she said, making it clear she didn't want to continue their conversation. “Well, this one is anyway - how do you wake the other one up - do you have to reboot him or something?”

The Doctor moved over to Bill and crouched down next to her, meeting her eyes as she roused.

“You're safe, we're in a ventilation shaft and we're getting back to the TARDIS as soon as you and Nardole are ready for the walk,” he said reassuringly.

“What, happened? We were about to die in there...how did we get here?” Bill asked.

“That’s quite a funny story actually,” Missy said.

She noticed the Doctor glance at her, an exasperated look on his face and she had only said six words. She laughed.

“We’re all seven inches tall! Isn’t that hilarious? We dragged you out through a vent - you are heavier than you look by the way. So, getting into the TARDIS will be amusing and operating it...we’ll have to build ladders...or a miniature lab…”

“What?!” Bill said. “We shrunk? How did we shrink?”

“I shrunk you,” she said, noticing the look of shock Bill gave her.

“Sorry, you what?” Bill asked.

“Shrunk you. Only way out of the room was through a small hole on the ground, so it was just common sense really.”

“You can do that? You can shrink people? Can you put us back again? To normal size?!” she asked.

“Yes, yes of course I can,” she said, appearing uncertain. “Well, I mean I haven't _tested_ it - I worked on upgrading it to reverse the function in the vault so didn't have the opportunity to test it - was hardly going to test it on myself and have one of your pets step on me. That would be about as undignified as that time that other one tried to hit me with her shoe.”

“So you’ve shrunk yourself before?” Bill asked.

“Well yes, but not intentionally,” Missy said.

“So it works then? You can go back to normal?” Bill said hopefully.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly straightforward….but I was unharmed...ish. This is untested but the theory is solid...lack of decent tools and tech in the vault though - so it’s an ad hoc design.”

“We need to get to the TARDIS first, then run some tests on the device Missy used before we try it on ourselves. Perhaps refine it - put some safeguards in,” the Doctor said.

“Oh how _nice,_ you're going to upgrade it for me!” Missy exclaimed, then pouted at him. “You’re going to keep it aren't you?”

“Of course I am, i’m not giving it back to you!” the Doctor said.

Missy gave him a sarcastic smile and glared at him, ready to justify why she needed it for every day tasks, when Nardole groaned, opening his eyes and watching them in confusion.

“Ah there we go, no need to find the reboot button - welcome back, you're now seven inches tall because I shrunk you, and _you_ thought I was joking about what i’d done with that toaster,” she said looking at him with her hands on her hips and a victorious smile.

“She...shrunk us?” he said. “She shrunk us?!”

He jumped up and looked himself over, checking he was intact.

“I warn you about what she’s up to, _all the time_ and you never listen Doctor!” he said.

“To be fair she did it to save your life, and it worked,” the Doctor said.

“Thank you honey,” she said, giving him a proud smile.

“Let’s focus on getting out of here,” the Doctor said. “We need to get through this grate and then across all that terrain to get back to the TARDIS, get inside somehow then Missy and I will create us a scaled lab and we can run some tests. Get us all back to normal, then see what that distress call was all about.”

Missy looked at him in disdain, “ _really_? Still with the distress call chasing? You couldn’t drop me back home first? Or just fly off and ignore it?”

“I’m not dropping you off anywhere, you’re staying with us till we get back. Maybe will do some groundwork this time...then head back out and help,” he said.

Missy turned to Bill and whispered, “see, groundwork - it’s _always_ best to listen to Missy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - Bill feels mesmerised by Missy - can you blame her? Missy dances in the rain, and they head toward the TARDIS.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer to get up than I intended, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I've started on a new story which is 16k words in right now - I do start back at uni now though, but will be writing a fair amount too to alleviate other anxiety! Thanks so much for reading :-)

Nardole turned to the grate, examining the bolts holding it in place, he frowned and glanced at the Doctor, “how are we going to open this?”

“Ah, well I don't have a sonic screwdriver…” he said.

“Would it be shrunk too? I mean, our clothes shrunk with us, so would your screwdriver?” Bill asked, as she put her hand in her pocket and pulled out her phone. “My phone shrunk too!”

Missy smirked, “Very clever, isn’t it? No one goes without their accessories!”

“Impressive, yes,” Nardole said, sounding not in the slightest impressed. “How are we going to open this though?”

“Well, we could always open you up and cannibalise you for parts - i’m sure I could make something efficient out of you,” Missy said, casting him an evil smile.

“Doctor, stop her looking at me like that!” he said.

The Doctor glanced back at him, distracted from examining the grate, “like what?”

“Like she wants me to find out what happened to her toaster!”

“Sorry but...can’t you just use the thing you used to shrink us, and shrink the grate - so it falls off?” Bill asked.

“Well yes, I _could,_ ” Missy said.

“Great, we can just go out then,” Bill said.

“Except i’m not going to,” Missy said.

“Why not?!” Bill asked, confused.

“Missy,” the Doctor said, with a frustrated sigh. “You can open this in seconds, and we need to get out of here!”

“I’m not giving you a chance to steal it from me!” she said, pulling a knife out from her sleeve and thrusting it toward the Doctor. “Use this!”

Nardole jumped back and felt his anxiety levels shoot through the roof, “you opened the door seconds after I went to the vault, you couldn’t have armed yourself that fast. Are you armed all the time? Every minute of the day? Doctor, do you ever sweep the vault for weapons? She could have an arsenal in there!”

“Relax, i’m not going to kill anyone, as annoying as you all are,” Missy said, before lowering her voice to an almost inaudible level. “ _P_ _robably not_ …”

“Oh thanks!” Bill said sarcastically.

Missy gave her a slightly impressed look - the Doctor’s pets weren’t usually so bold with her. She immediately followed it with a cold glare just to throw her, and then turned back to the Doctor, knowing she had confused Bill and feeling pleased with herself.

“Could we focus please!” the Doctor said. “Missy, it will take significant time to get out of this grate using just a knife.”

“Yes,” she said. “Better get started then you lot, hadn’t you.”

“But you could just use your shrinking thing?” Bill exclaimed.

The Doctor sighed, “Missy, if I don’t take that and you end up killing someone….this could just take a very bad turn.”

“Nice try, i’m not giving it to you, but _fine_ , I’ll open the grate,” she said, as she put both hands in her hair, and swiftly pulled out the hair pin.

Aiming it at the grate, she fired, the metal falling away revealing a wide open exit. She spun around as she placed it back in her hair, smiling at the Doctor in satisfaction when she could see he hadn’t seen exactly where she had secured it.

“Ok troops, off we go!” she said cheerfully, as she hitched up her skirts and climbed through the grate.

She moved a short distance from the open grate as the others climbed out - taking stock of their surroundings. The Doctor’s TARDIS was visible in the distance, but what had been a short walk when they were held at gunpoint, would be considerably longer now that they were all miniaturised.  

“So, we just head that way?” Nardole asked uncertainly.

“And hope for the best?” Missy asked. “Or we take a moment to assess where we are and make some contingency plans - for the inevitable near lethal accidents and brushes with death that will occur.”

Bill and Nardole exchanged worried glances and the Doctor moved to stand beside Missy.

“Doctor, look, we can just fire my TCE at Nardole. If it works on him then we can do it for the rest of us. He’s easier to put back together again if it goes wrong,” she said.

“You are not experimenting on me!” Nardole said, offended.

“We go to the TARDIS and test it before we fire it at anyone. You’ve never used a reversal function so we are not going to experiment on Nardole!” the Doctor said.

“I’m not going to risk my personal shopper! I know I can fix him if it goes wrong - I can hardly fix Bill, she’d just be dead,” Missy said. “See? I’m being considerate!”

“Err..thanks..” Bill said.

“You’re welcome!” Missy said with a smile.

“Ok, stay together, let’s go,” the Doctor said.

Missy smirked, and leaned close to Bill whispering to her, “here he goes again, just shooting off without thinking it through. Don’t worry though, you have _me_ to keep you alive!

“That’s..really reassuring,” Bill said, freezing momentarily as Missy linked arms with her and propelled her forward.

Suddenly they were met with a deluge of rain, the raindrops falling heavily and drenching them fast. The Doctor and Nardole ducked under a nearby ledge, and Bill ran to join them as Missy let go of her arm.

They all watched her from under the shelter of the ledge as she thrust her arms out to the sides, threw her head back and spun around repeatedly.

“Rain!” she exclaimed. “Rain is amazing!”

“You need to be careful….it’s making puddles...swimming pool sized puddles,” Nardole pointed out.

Missy stopped spinning around and dropped her arms to her sides as she stepped toward them, leaning near the ledge and laughing, “dance with me Doctor!”

The Doctor smiled at her - he loved how unguarded she seemed at that moment, the mere sensation of rain thrilling her. He wanted to just reach out and pull her into his arms and kiss her.

“Missy,” he said with a smile. “Take cover in here, you’re going to be soaked the whole way back.”

“Live a little Doctor! Dance in the rain!” she said, laughing, before making a sudden move to grab Bill’s arm and pull her out into the rain.

Bill stumbled forwards, gasping as she became soaked in an instant. She had no choice but to let Missy spin her around and found her burst of happiness infectious as she started laughing too.

Bill looked into Missy’s eyes as she felt her arm slip around her lower back. The feel of Missy’s hand against the soaked material of her t shirt and the way Missy grasped her hand almost tenderly threw Bill completely. She had only looked at Missy as someone to be afraid of, cautious around, but she just couldn't fight the pull to join her.

Bill felt almost lost in her eyes as she danced with her - their hands slippery under the deluge of water, but their fingers remaining intertwined as Missy lead her. Bill felt mesmerised by her - suddenly fascinated by the Time Lord the Doctor kept locked in a vault. She was excited, happy, and she really didn’t seem in the slightest bit dangerous. She knew in the back of her mind that she should probably not forget that there was a reason she was locked in a vault, but at that moment it was hard to imagine her in any way other than absolutely joyful. The real fears Bill had suddenly felt pushed far back into her mind, and only the will to dance remained.

Missy spun her out as the Doctor stepped out into the rain and cut in, Missy stilling as his arm slipped around her back and his hand held hers - mirroring the way she had held Bill. She smiled at him and closed her eyes as his hand moved up to brush her wet hair from her face.

“I miss rain,” she said.

The Doctor pulled her into his arms and wrapped her in an embrace. Nardole cast Bill a shocked glance, and shook his head.

The Doctor placed a kiss on her head, and stepped back, his hands slipping down to hold both of hers. The light in her eyes was so honest and happy, that the only thing he could possibly do at that moment was kiss her.

Bill and Nardole watched in shock as the Doctor inched forward and began to kiss her. Missy returning his kiss eagerly. It was brief, but the passion was undeniable. He inched back and smiled at her.

“Let’s go, before we end up drowning in a puddle,” he said. “Maybe...we could start going out on trips - nothing too intense just...go and find some rain, or snow...do you like snow?” he asked.

Missy smiled warmly as she linked her arm in his, “I love anything that's not the vault environmental system, but the sensations of a heavy snow fall would be incredible.”

"I'm going to add keep out of Bill's mind to the list of things you shouldn't be doing," the Doctor whispered.

"Spoilsport," she said with a laugh. "She enjoyed it, no harm done."

They began to walk, Nardole and Bill dashing out of the ledge under the pouring rain to keep up with them.

“Tropical rain or arctic snow?” the Doctor asked.

“Surprise me,” she said.

“Err… Doctor?” Nardole asked. “You can’t just take her out of the vault, for...dates?”

Missy laughed, shivering slightly as the cold rain soaked through her clothes.

“You seemed to enjoy yourself,” Nardole said, sounding quite accusatory as he glanced at Bill.

“She’s, kind of... captivating - don’t tell the Doctor I said that - he always tells me not to trust her, but she’s...definitely captivating.”

“Yeah, I know,” Nardole said.

Bill turned and met his eyes in shock, “you think so too?”

“I said no such thing!” he said. “Just don’t tell her I said that.”

They made their way along a wide concrete ledge, Bill watching the two Time Lord’s with great interest. She hoped she would get to know their story some day - she had a feeling it was quite the story.

Soon they reached the end of the ledge and all jumped down onto rocky ground. They stood and contemplated the terrain between them and the TARDIS; an overgrown grassy area. Grass which now appeared like a thick jungle.

"Ok, let's go," Missy said, walking determinedly into the grass before glancing over her shoulder at them. "Do they have snakes here Doctor?" 

Missy noticed the look of worry Nardole wore and couldn't resist toying with him, "it's just, we're all ideal snacking size right now, and it's not quite a dignified ending."

Nardole stared at the Doctor in panic, and Missy laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, life is not being kind to me at the moment, but writing helps me deal, so working on another new story while I also update this and Paper Dolls. Thanks for reading x

Bill began to struggle as they crossed the stony path toward the sightly overgrown grass that separated them from the TARDIS. Stones which now felt like boulders and grass which resembled a jungle. It was exhausting. Nardole was mostly unaffected and continued, scowling at the Doctor in disapproval - his arm still linked with Missy’s. Bill lagged behind a  little, wondering if Time Lord’s had heightened energy to draw on - they certainly appeared to barely have slowed despite the terrain become more and more challenging. 

When they finally reached the grass, they all stopped and contemplated it - the grass would be up the their waists at the lowest point and almost head height at the highest. It was a veritable jungle.

Missy let go of the Doctor’s arm and stepped forward, wishing that she had her umbrella to at least part the grass ahead of her.

“Can you shrink it?” Bill asked hopefully.

“Use a sophisticated device such as mine, to  _ mow a lawn _ ?” Missy said, giving her an incredulous look.

“I just thought - you can make a pathway?”

“ALL that fuss, and i’m sure the now  _ giant _ bugs and rodents will find us in  _ no _ time!” Missy said, smiling sweetly at Bill.

“Giant rodents…” Bill said, worried.

“We  _ are  _ snack sized right now,” Missy said with a laugh, before grabbing a nearby stick and using it to part the tall grass.

“Snack sized...we are a bit aren’t we…” Nardole said, nervously.

“We aren’t going to be eaten by rodents or bugs, just stay calm, keep together and get through this grass,” the Doctor said.

Missy glanced over her shoulder at Nardole, “yeah, he’s right. It’s not the giant bugs or the hungry rats - the snakes will swallow us all whole before the rodents get anywhere near us.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes as Missy walked into the grass laughing.

“Doctor,” Nardole said, hovering on the edge of the grass. “Should we get weapons? Sticks - Missy has a big stick.”

“Not a bad idea, pick up anything that might help - i’m sure we won’t face anything carnivorous, she’s just trying to scare you. It’ll be useful to get through this grass though.”

He headed into the grass and made his way toward Missy, struggling through the overgrowth to catch up with her.

Missy cast him a brief, dismissive glance and shook her head.

“You really want to go through all this because you’d rather run some kind of safety test before I just reverse the shrinking? Honestly Doctor, I should be insulted. You really think I’m not adept enough at upgrading my own device?”

“You don’t even have a lab in the vault - I don’t know how you’ve upgraded it at all. If you haven’t had the right tools then it might not be as refined as you would normally make it,” he said.

“And whose fault is _ that _ ?” she asked, incredulously.

“What?” he asked, amazed. “You think we’re in this situation because i’ve restricted your access to tools? Not because you actually  _ shrunk us all _ ?!”

“I  _ shrunk _ us, to save our lives, because YOU, ran headlong into danger without  _ even _ looking out the window, after YOUR TARDIS, ran off and your pet had to come and ask me to save you!”

The Doctor sighed, “This isn’t ideal for our first trip together out of the vault, but you’ve really come through for us all - even if your methods aren’t quite what I would like.”

“You’re helping me change Doctor - what you’re not doing is changing me into you. I’m still me, and my right may never be what you want it to. Doesn’t make it automatically bad...there’s more than one path to right.”

He contemplated her words as they walked on, pushing the huge blades of grass out of the way.

“I need that knife you still have by the way,” he said casually.

“Yeah,” she said shaking her head with a smile. “You’re not getting that either. Stop trying to steal my toys and let’s cover some ground. If it gets dark then one of your pets really might get eaten by a fox, and then you’ll get all stern and cross when I laugh.”

“Fox?” Nardole said, the worry etched into his voice. “Are there foxes here?”

“No, there are no foxes. Let’s keep going and get back to the TARDIS and sort this mess out,” the Doctor said.

They all continued - the terrain difficult and jungle like, until Missy suddenly came to an abrupt halt and jumped back, much to Nardole’s annoyance as she bumped solidly into him.

“What’s wrong?” Bill asked.

Missy turned to Nardole and smiled, “nothing, nothing at all. Sorry  it’s probably better if you go in front, that way I can watch your back.”

“Oh...how nice of you,” Nardole said sarcastically, not believing her good intention for a moment.

“That’s what friends are for!” Missy exclaimed with a smile.

The Doctor shook his head and grabbed Nardole’s arm, “don’t go in there. What is it Missy?”

“A rat. A rat that looks hungry - and slightly evil,” Missy said, before leaning close to the Doctor and lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Let’s throw the pets to the hungry evil rat, then we can be on our way.”

“I heard that!” Nardole said, crossly.

“Missy, stop winding them up. You have a TCE, a knife and a large stick - impress me,” the Doctor said.

“Impress you?” she laughed. “In hand to hand combat with a hungry, larger than me, rodent? All these lives and I never knew  _ that’s _ what it would take to impress you!”

“Missy, it’s going to find us any moment, do something!” Nardole said, beginning to panic.

Missy glanced across at Bill who looked equally as worried, and then back to the Doctor, who was merely scowling at her.

“Oh Missy, save us!” she said, in exaggerated manner, before breaking into laughter. “Honestly Doctor - is that what you do for fun?”

“Missy - give me the stick,” the Doctor said. “Bill, Nardole, go behind that pebble over there.”

“Oh how romantic Doctor,” Missy said, smiling at him flirtatiously. “Fighting to our deaths together, mauled by a rat.”

The Doctor grabbed the stick and ignored her as she cast him a shocked gasp.

He launched through the grass and Missy smirked as she followed him, until he suddenly stopped, raising the stick in the air.

Missy glanced round and found a pile of pebbles, which at her new height, made for a perfect spot to climb up and watch the drama. She quickly got to the top and found that it was quite flat and comfortable, and so stretched out, leaning back, her hands resting against the stone surface as she watched the Doctor in amusement.

He was seconds away from the rat launching itself at him and pulled the stick back and threw it.

Missy burst into laughter, “Doctor! It’s not a  _ dog!  _ It’s not going to chase it - but it’s looking even hungrier now.”

Instantly the rat launched itself at the Doctor, knocking him to the ground, it’s claws taking such tight hold that he was pinned down. It opened its mouth, it’s teeth sharp and ready to pierce him as it made its move.

Missy shook her head and pulled out her knife, barely moving from her perch on the pile of pebbles as she expertly threw the blade.

The Doctor closed his eyes and froze, as the rat suddenly let out a panicked squeak in fright, and jumped off of him abruptly, disappearing fast into the overgrown grass.

He stood up quickly and walked over to Missy as she made her way down, extending his hand, to which she smiled and accepted.

She hopped down and kept hold of his hand as she cast an annoyed glare at him, “it ran off with my knife - you planned that didn’t you?”

“Yes Missy, I planned to get almost mauled by a giant rat!”

“It’s not a giant rat! It’s a normal rat!” she said shaking her head. “Where are the pets? Did it steal one of them as it ran off? That’ll really put you in a bad mood.”

“Bill! Nardole!” he called. “It’s safe to come out now. Missy drove it away - we should be safe now.”

“You’re becoming quite the hero today then,” Nardole said sarcastically.

“Take that back!” she said in mock annoyance.

Bill caught herself smiling at the way Missy made such a show of not wanting to be called a hero. She hoped Missy didn’t notice, and looked away quickly.

The rest of the walk back was uneventful, but difficult, as they ploughed through the grass. When they finally came to the familiar blue wood of the Doctor’s TARDIS, they all felt a degree of relief. Standing outside the doors, they all looked up at the lock - a considerable height for them to reach without a ladder.

“Come on then,” Missy said impatiently. “Open the door, before something else tries to eat us.”

“How do you propose I get up there? And open the door with  _ this _ ?” he said, as he pulled out a tiny key.

Missy stared at him incredulously, “Oh Doctor, you are not telling me that the only way in side your TARDIS is with a key!”

“A key is the usual way to open a door Missy!” he said.

“Voice ID?” she asked.

“Been meaning to look into that,” he said.

“Sonic lock?”

“I was upgrading, but got sidetracked,” he said sheepishly.

“A device with a nice button you can just press - a button that says open, for instance?”

“No,” he said. “I have a tiny key, and a lock I can’t reach, and no way of getting up there.”

They all stood and looked up, at the vast distance between them and the TARDIS lock.

“At least the rain’s stopped,” Nardole said with forced cheerfulness.

They all turned to glare at him.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“In all these lives, you have never opened the door any other way?” Missy asked, stunned.

“Oh I have, many times.”

“Aaaaand, why can’t you now?” she asked, impatiently.

“In truth, it’s more something  _ she _ does, than something i’ve engineered.”

“Oh see, this is the problem with you Doctor, _ one of the problems with you.  _ You don’t look after your TARDIS well enough, ignore the most basic of maintenance, and let her think she’s in charge. She’s  _ your _ TARDIS. You are a _ Time Lord, _ she is a  _ machine  _ \- stop this whole...relationship you have and just programme this machine to do things for you properly!”

“I find respecting the symbiosis we have between us is a much better approach, I know my TARDIS far better than you Missy,” he said feeling somewhat indignant.

Missy shook her head and put her hands against the wood, “look love, you’re trying to prove some kind of point here running off without him, running off again with me on board, and now you won’t let him in. How about, _ I  _ make a deal with you?”

They watched, each straining to hear as Missy leaned close to the door and began whispering, then could only look on in surprise as she stood and smiled at the crack of light that appeared as the relatively huge doors quietly opened.

“What did you say?” Bill asked.

“Just a little girl talk,” Missy said as she skipped through the doors.

“She sweet talked your TARDIS...she could probably steal your TARDIS just by talking nicely to her. Doctor, please don’t let her kidnap us all!” Nardole said.

“She’s not going to kidnap anyone,” the Doctor said, exasperated.

“She’s made a deal! What kind of deal?!” Nardole said.

“I’m sure it’s absolutely fine,” the Doctor said.

Once inside, the Doctor, Bill and Nardole stood and stared up at the console - the height of it making the task ahead seem impossible. The Doctor glanced at Missy and tensed as she moved straight to the console and began prising off a panel.

“Missy no - don’t start pulling apart my TARDIS!” he said, exasperated.

She glanced over her shoulder with a look of amusement, “oh ok then Doctor, I’ll just stop shall I?” she patted the panel with her hand and gracefully dropped to the floor, sitting on the ground. “Don’t mind me, i’ll just take a rest right here and watch as you use your extensive experience of being doll sized in a full size TARDIS to sort this whole mess out then,” she said with amusement.

“Missy,” he said, closing his eyes in frustration. “We do need to sort this out urgently - just tell me what you need to do.”

“What’s the rush?” she asked baffled.

“We need to get back to full size and go and work out what that distress call was about?” 

“What?!” she said, stunned. “We are back in your TARDIS, safe and sound...well safe, and you want to go back out there? How about we just restore ourselves and leave? I had planned a nice quiet evening in!”

Nardole looked at her with great suspicion, “as opposed to an evening out?” Doctor? Does she have evenings out?”

“No Nardole she does not,” the Doctor said.

Missy smirked at Nardole, “he always let me out on Thursdays when you go shopping.”

“I don’t Nardole,” the Doctor said, raising his hand to silence Nardole’s worried response before he even uttered it.

“Bill, Nardole - pull that panel off, and the one next to it, then we can run a diagnostic on Missy’s TCE before we use it.”

As they got to work on the panels, the Doctor sat down next to Missy and glanced at her.

“We will Missy, when we get back - start going out. I think you’re ready for that, I did mean it - but close supervision...very close.”

“Very, very, very close. Got it,” she said with a smile, her hearts filling with hope at the prospect.

“Ah, they’ve got the panels off,” he said, getting to his feet and holding out his hand to her.

Missy took his hand and stood, removing her TCE from her hair and handing it to him, “you’d better give this back.”

He laughed, “not likely Missy.”

He inserted the TCE into a socket - freed after he and Missy rerouted cabling, and he was then able to run some quick diagnostic tests.

Finally he stood back and declared the TCE perfectly safe to operate a reversal with. Missy stood with her hand on her hip, rolling her eyes at him at his need to analyse it first.

“Ok, now we haven’t tried this on a living person, but my tests are all positive and I don’t think there’s any risk. Who wants to go first?”

Bll and Nardole stared at him and then exchanged worried glances.

“If it hasn’t been tried on a person...yeah...not sure I wanna be the guinea pig,” Bill said.

The Doctor glanced at Nardole, who simply shook his head.

“Fine!” Missy said, holding her hands in the air in mock surrender. “ I volunteer to be the guinea pig - fire it at me, then i’ll take it to the console and regrow it. It will only manage one reversal at that size, so no point restoring anyone who doesn’t know how to work on it.”

“That’s a good point,” the Doctor said, while casting her a wary glance and raising the TCE before hesitating. “Missy i’m trusting you here.”

Missy smiled, “why wouldn’t you? Come on, shoot me.”

The Doctor aimed and fired, stepping back as Missy began to regrow. 

Missy simply closed her eyes and waited until it was over, then opened her eyes and clapped her hands, “now that does feel so much better. Right Doctor - my TCE if you will.”

She stooped down and carefully took the tiny device from the Doctor’s hand, smiling at him.

“You all look ever so cute down there - like tiny little grumpy pets that I should keep in a cage. I could get you a little wheel to run around in  - would you like that Nardy?”

Nardole began to  feel a growing sense of panic and stared at the Doctor in dismay, “she’s going to keep us like pet mice! Do something!”

“I could get you one of those hamster balls to run around in so I don’t lose you - i’d be ever so sad if I lost one of you,” Missy said, smirking.

“Missy,” the Doctor said, annoyed. “Just get on with it and restore us.”

“What was that?” she said, as her hands danced over the controls, focused on the task. “Bit hard to hear from up here. Did you say you wanted a little perch with a mirror? Or maybe a nice tunnel to run through so you can visit each other’s cages?”

Missy burst into laughter at the thoughts running through her head, and Bill and Nardole stared at her, Bill then joining Nardole as a sense of panic washed over her.

“Missy, that’s enough, just work on your TCE,” the Doctor said.

She glanced at him briefly and started laughing again, “oh Doctor, don’t cross your arms like that with that grumpy expression on your face, it makes me want to pick you up and carry you about with me in my pocket. Wouldn’t  that be hilarious? My own little Doctor to keep in my pocket?”

“Missy...can you focus…” he said.

“What if….

“MISSY!” he shouted, as best he could, given that his voice couldn’t project loudly enough to really make any attempt to assert a shred of authority over the situation.

“Yes dear?” she said, amused. “Did you want something? Did you have a request? Like a little bell for your cage perhaps?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” he yelled. 

Her hands stalled on the controls and she turned, looking down at the rather infuriated little Doctor.

“Stop winding us up and finish that, or I promise you, I will take back everything I said you were ready for, and I won’t be letting you out again for a very long time - and I really don’t think you want another 100 years before you come out of the vault again, do you? So fix this!"

The Doctor regretted his threat as soon as he had said it. The instant look of hurt and the briefest flash of dismay that he saw her wear, told him he had crossed a line and knew he had to do some damage control fast. Damage control when the person whose feelings you’ve  hurt is over five feet taller than you though, is a complex task.

Missy didn’t even speak in response, and simply walked out of the room. The Doctor couldn’t fail to notice the tears in her eyes as she left, and realised he had made a big mistake.

“Where’s she going?” Bill asked.

“She’ll be back…” the Doctor said.

When she walked back in the room, minutes later, the Doctor’s eyes widened as she placed a hamster cage on the floor in front of them, scooped all three of them up and placed them inside, turning a metal key on the outside to secure the door.

The Doctor stared at her in shock, “Missy, what are you doing?”

“Well, if this is my only trip out for the next century, I may as well make the most of it, but don’t worry, i’m not going to leave the three of you in there like that.”

“Oh...good?” Nardole asked.

“Yes, i’ll get you a cage each - don’t want you fighting each other over the water dispenser. Oh, I suggest you learn to use that, don’t want you dehydrating as I am a thoughtful and considerate pet owner.”

Bill stared at Missy in absolute disbelief, and Nardole sighed dramatically, staring at the Doctor and hoping he would fix the situation, and fast.

“Missy,” the Doctor said. “I didn’t mean that, I wouldn’t tell you that you could start going out of the vault and then take that away - that’s cruel and I wouldn’t do that to you...you’re upset, and rightfully so, but this isn’t the answer.”

“Sorry,” she said. “But i’m not that easily appeased.”

She walked over to a chair, picking up a book which was on the seat, and dropped down into it, opening the book at the first page and purposefully ignoring them all.

“You’re just going to leave us here while you read? Are you going to read the entire book?” Nardole asked, stunned.

“Yep,” she said, smirking as she turned the page. “But don’t worry. Once i'm done I’m going to get you each a nice cage of your own, with every mod con a pet could ever want.”

They all watched in a mixture of dismay, worry and fury, as Missy proceeded to immerse herself in the novel length book.


End file.
